Question:
(Query has been summarized for privacy)
I am a Muslim girl living with my mother and I have no other siblings. There is this guy in our class at the university that I attend and I used to play with him in my childhood. My mother told me that she breastfed him for several weeks when he was few months old.
I realized that he is my mahram through breastfeeding. I moved in his apartment and is living with him.
When I talked with my mother about it, she became very angry and she insisted that I should not talk with him at all. I refused to obey her on this matter and moved to his apartment.
A month has passed and we live together as mahram within the limits of Islam that I know. I have some questions and kindly answer all of it.
1- If a mother orders his daughter to end relationship with her milk-brother, is the daughter obliged to obey her?. If she does not, then has she sinned?
2- I am intimate with him within the limits set by Islam, hug and kiss him. Sometimes he sits on my lap when I am sitting on sofa and we watch tv together in that position. Is it permissible?
3- We offer prayers together at apartment. He asks me to lead prayers since his command over Quran is weak. Is it permissible for me to lead prayers?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
If a woman breastfeeds the child then fosterage (radha’ah) will be established. It is important to note though, that fosterage will only be established the woman sucked the child during the period of fostering, which is 30 lunar months. That means, if the adopted son is older than 30 months (2 ½ years), fosterage will not be established through suckling. If the child is less than 2 ½ years fosterage will be established. If the conditions for fosterage exist and it is established, the laws of prohibition will apply as it would with a real child. i.e. he/she will be prohibited to marry the foster parents and the children of the foster parents and their relations and hence there’s no observance of hijab.
As far as your queries,
1- In the light of your query, you are obligated to obey your mother. You should not have disobeyed her and moved in with your foster brother. You may not need to stop speaking with him completely, but it was incorrect to move into his apartment. We suggest you now obey her requests.
2- As mentioned, after you recently discovered that he is your foster brother. However certain boundaries would still apply when there may be the slight possibility of Fitnah (whispers from Shaitaan). Such intimate interaction as sitting on your lap, kissing etc must be avoided and Hijaab should still be practiced infront of him.
3- It is unanimously impermissible for a female to lead a male in Salaah. Such Salaah will be invalid, regardless.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best.
Mufti Arshad Ali
Darul Iftaa, Jaamia Madinatul Uloom (Trinidad)
