It is Allowed in Islam to try to choose your baby sex with any kind of treatment with some special circumstances? Allah SWT already given me a girl n she is now 5.5 years old mashAllah, she have a medical condition which makes her dependent on me and my husband don’t want any other baby due to her dependency I tried to convince him and after 3 years of effort now he s bit ready for this. I want that Allah give me a son so I have both blessings with RAZA of HIM. What are a wife’s right in Islam on this if I want another baby n my husband don’t? JazakaAllah
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
While the wife has the right to have children1, the Fuqaha(Islamic jurists) have also granted a right of refusal to the husband to have children based on circumstanes2. It is possible, your husband does not want to have another child due to personal circumstances and considering the burden on you.
If you have convinced him to have another child, it may not be appropriate to exert any further pressure by undergoing treatment to choose the gender of the child, which also has many risks in it. Many side effects and complications are possible. In fact, IVF (PGS) gender selection, except in extreme cases, is even prohibited in the UK and other countries.3
Our advice is you consult your doctor and if he gives you a health clearance, place your trust in Allah Ta’ala and seek another baby, irrespective of the gender.
Allah the Most Compassionate says:
[لِلَّهِ مُلْكُ السَّمَـوَتِ وَالاٌّرْضِ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَآءُ يَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ إِنَـثاً وَيَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ الذُّكُورَ – أَوْ يُزَوِّجُهُمْ ذُكْرَاناً وَإِنَـثاً وَيَجْعَلُ مَن يَشَآءُ عَقِيماً إِنَّهُ عَلِيمٌ قَدِيرٌ ]
To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female upon whom He wills, and bestows male upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able (to do all things).(AshShuraa 42)
Moreover, the virtues of having a second daughter are immense,
The Messenger of Allah Sallalahu Alahi Wa Sallam said: “Whoever raises two girls then I and him will enter Paradise like these two.” And he indicated with his two fingers. (Tirmidhi 1914)
In another Hadith,
Prophet Sallalahu Alahi Wa Sallam said: ” Whoever is tested something from these daughters (and he/she passes the test), they will be a screen for him from the Fire. (Tirmidhi 1915)
We should accept the decree that Allah Ta’ala makes for us, as the decree of Allah is the best.
[وَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ]
(. ..and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you) meaning.
[وَعَسَى أَن تُحِبُّواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ]
(…and that you like a thing which is bad for you.)
Keep on making Dua to Almighty Allah and then be happy with the decision of Allah Ta’ala.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.