Salaam. mufti sahb I have big problem with my wife. she always tells me im FAT and i must loose weight. yet i am only 45 inch waist. she makes me go on a diet and dont give me nice food. i get very frustrated everytime i tell her there is nothing wrong withme but she keeps saying I must be healthy. i told her she must look at herself first then tell me. she always fights with me for this.its becoming very annoying to the point i dont feel like coming home, always she is moaning. there is no happy mood in the home. how must I solve this? give me dua to make her normal please
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islam,
Whilst marriage is a means of our comfort, it also presents many difficult challenges. Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) advised on the weak nature of women and tolerance towards them.
Our advice is you approach your wife with kindness and patience and express to her your feelings.
Proper communication is imperative for any partnership to nourish. Most marital issues are resolved by discussing them properly. Explain to your wife the difficulty you are facing and that the current situation is negatively affecting the relationship.
You may also approach a respected member of your family and discuss your concerns with that person with the hope that he/she will diplomatically address the issue with your wife, and make her understand the gravity of her attitude and conduct.
Also, show your spouse utmost love and affection. Love has the capacity to make the bitter turn sweet. Show her respect and interest and that she matters to you. Assist her. Supress arguments and anger. Forgive one another and use loving words and names. Focus on her good qualities, and most essentially is to have Sabr(patience). Not everything will be your way.
It may be an idea to commence Taleem in your house. An appropriate book on the character of Rasululallah Sallallahu Alahi Wasallam and his Sunnahs be chosen to read daily for about five to ten minutes. Taleem has the potential of redirecting a person’s thinking and conduct.
You should recite the following Dua:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا (الفرقان، الآية 74)
Our Sustainer, Grant us the coolness of our eyes from our spouses and children, and make us leaders of the pious.” (Qurān 25:74)
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.